A Christmas Post: Christmas Story: The Gift of the Magi

A Christmas Post: Christmas Story: The Gift of the Magi: From Denny: This is another Christmas classic, such a wonderful story by a revered writer!


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How Can You Predict The Strength of Your Relationship?

*** Check out the latest study and new test devised to help you predict the strength of your relationship.




From Denny: Leave it up to medical researchers to figure out a test that can tell us when to make a fast exit out of a relationship. The things these guys study... :)

Researchers believe they have devised a test that can tell if a relationship can hold together or fall apart. They think they can predict the strength of a relationship.

Human relationships experience a lot of emotional pain and it seems we are forever looking for that pain avoidance - at least in American culture. Well, what if we did know exactly when it was a good idea to exit that romantic relationship? Figuring out whether to break up or stay together is often a wrenching decision for most people. So, what if science has figured out a way to make the process easier?

The University of Rochester researchers who did this study, and devised the test, say it involves discovering what people really think and feel about their partners. That sounds simple enough.

Turns out that previous studies found people were very reluctant, even unable to express their true feelings about their partners. Ronald D. Rogge, coauthor of this study, says, "That assumes that they know themselves how happy they are, and that's not always the case."

So, Rogge and his team decided on a test where volunteers supplied their partner's first name and then two other words that related to that partner, like an affectionate pet name or perhaps a distinctive characteristic. Then the volunteers were asked to watch a monitor as words were presented on the screens. Positive ideas were displayed like "vacation" and "peace" also paired with the partner-related words. Then bad ideas, negative connotations, like "tragedy" and "criticize" were paired with the partner-related words.

The volunteers watching the monitors were then asked to press a bar when they saw various words. One test featured the negative connotation words and partner-related words and another test involved the positive pairings. Researchers hoped to get people to automatically react to the words.

What researchers found is that if people generally had good associations with their partners they would definitely perform the "good words" positive connotations task easier than the "bad words" task.

Researchers also discovered in this test that those who associated bad words with their partners, had greater difficulty associating their partner with good words, well, these people were far more likely to separate their relationship during the next year.

Sometimes, the indirect approach works better with uncovering what is difficult to express. When asked directly people often feel pressured to give the appropriate societal response as opposed to how they really feel about their partner. This test would be useful for therapists when clients are unwilling or fearful to divulge their true feelings about their partner. It also helps to pinpoint the nature of the relationship problem.

From the study: "In deteriorating relationships, the negative associations people begin to form about their partner may be too subtle or threatening for them to recognize in themselves or too socially undesirable for them to report to others."

The study was in the journal Psychological Science.



*** Photo by Kjunstorms @ flickr

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The Social Poets - news, politics
The Soul Calendar - science, astronomy, psychology
Visual Insights - photos, art, music
Beautiful Illustrated Quotations - spiritual quotes, philosophy
Poems From A Spiritual Heart - poetry
The Healing Waters - health news
Dennys People Watching - people in the news
Dennys Food and Recipes
Dennys Funny Quotes - humor

Beautiful Angel Photo, Quote, Healing Poem Link

Psalm 91:11 - And He will give His Angels charge over you to guard you in all your ways.

Yesterday I wrote:

From Denny: Since this particular poem was a hard write, and I'm a bit emotionally tired and saturated to say the least, here's the link to my latest poem over at The Social Poets, called Rock, My Children. Found some awesome art photos over at flickr to illustrate it!

Rock, My Children is about how to deal with loss. Never planned on writing about these experiences but lately there has been so much news about people encountering terrible loss in their lives. And, here it is the 911 anniversary, a tough day for so many folks all over the world.

When I was fishing around for inspiration I found Robin's blog Naked in Eden and some of those word phrases sprinkled throughout one of her posts just struck me right (like "abyss of emotion") and before I knew it the poem was forming in my head. Went to flickr first before writing it down as the poem was still a lot of raw emotions swirling and I needed some visual anchors.

Rock, My Children deals with loss, disappointment, and looking to the future for understanding Life's Plan. When you ask the question, you receive the answer though it may take fifteen years like it did in my case.

Received an incredibly awesome comment from fellow spiritual blogger Robin from Naked in Eden after I sent her the link to show her how she had inspired me to write the poem. Just skip on past the poem to read what she has to say it's that great! I've been grinning silly all day - and behind in my posting - since she posted that loving comment...

Rock, My Children, go here.

A Healing Poem

Tranquil Photo by amazonaws.com

May you find serenity and tranquility
in a world you may not always understand.

May the pain you have known
and the conflict you have experienced
give you the strength to walk through life
facing each new situation with courage and optimism.

Always know that there are those
whose love and understanding will always be there,
even when you feel most alone.

May a kind word,
a reassuring touch,
and a warm smile
be yours every day of your life,
and may you give these gifts
as well as receive them.

May the teachings of those you admire
become part of you,
so that you may call upon them.

Remember, those whose lives you have touched
and who have touched yours
are always a part of you,
even if the encounters were less than you would have wished.

It is the content of the encounter
that is more important than its form.

May you not become too concerned with material matters,
but instead place immeasurable value
on the goodness in your heart.
Find time in each day to see beauty and love
in the world around you.

Realize that what you feel you lack in one regard
you may be more than compensated for in another.
What you feel you lack in the present
may become one of your strengths in the future.
May you see your future as one filled with promise and possibility.

Learn to view everything as a worthwhile experience.
May you find enough inner strength
to determine your own worth by yourself,
and not be dependent
on another's judgment of your accomplishments.

May you always feel loved.

~ Sandra Sturtz Hauss ~

Funny Video: Bride Laughing Loud at the Altar During Vows

From Denny: Just found this hilarious true video of a bride laughing so hard at the altar she almost fell over when they were trying to say their vows. The laughter is contagious! Laughter really IS the best medicine!

Poem: People Trees

This was the poem I wrote last week for my Friday poem over at The Social Poets blog and I've been meaning to get it up over here. The folks over at StumbleUpon came in by the hordes for these wonderful photos, enjoy!

Drink in the richness of the wonderful photos from the photographers over at flickr in creative commons. (I find them beautiful and emotionally soothing.) You are free to use their photos if you also give attribution and a link back to their flickr page.

I've been thinking about what poem to write all week, and, as usual, started on another idea which just didn't gel well or in time. That's what's good about setting deadlines for yourself as you get that rush of adrenaline going to get out the words. :) Anyway, was researching some wonderful photos and kept finding awesome trees and one thing led to another as I knew my eternal mind was tapping my everyday mind on the shoulder and saying, "Hey! What about this?"

Photos often do give me inspiration for writing as so many ideas start flowing. Take a trip on over to flickr yourself to get inspired. You can always view my 5,000+ favorites I've found while researching for articles as I keep them bookmarked "just in case."

*****

People Trees



Some of us ruggedly root ourselves mountain high to savor the views



Some of us enjoy beauty’s lingering mirrored perfection



Some of us feel forlorn in life’s landscape, until we see we are a duet



Some of us like to stand tall with a crowd, all in a perfect row



Some of us like to party with different people, the more the merrier



Some of us like to stand out in a crowd, fiercely plumped proud



Some of us see our own rippling beauty, reflected in the mirrors of others



Some of us rush to greet the exploding morning at first blush



Some of us sway and bend with life’s swirling storms yet remain



Some of us rush zig zagging through life and still look wildly beautiful



Some of us safely hold dear a child’s swing and his playful heart



Some of us are strong, sheltering lightly in the shadows



Some of us rise up from the water and tenaciously breathe through our knees*



Some of us suffer, enduring kindly a bit of indignity from time to time



Some of us absorb the strongest truth, filtering softly inner light



Some of us like to stroll unknown passageways and secret gardens



Some of us play hard to get, secretly happy to see company coming



Some of us like to wear jewelry, all decked out at least once a year



And some of us



dream big



just by looking up – lost in thought for hours.


Denny Lyon
Copyright 20 August 2009
All Rights Reserved

* Copyright is for the text of the poem only, copyright for the photos belong to the photographers.

Have a great weekend, everyone! Thanks for visiting!


*Cyprus trees have what are called "knees" - those bumps you see sticking out of the water near the roots which are underwater in the swamps. These knees are how the cyprus tree breathes the air!

*****

Photo Credits

Mountain Mist treeline photo by Lida Rose @ flickr

Rugged lone tree high on a mountain photo By Chris Gin @ flickr

Cherry blossomed tree reflecting photo By rachel_thecat @ flickr

Cherry trees blanketed by snow photo By lrargerich @ flickr

Cherry blossomed trees all in a row photo By VJ flicks @ flickr

Bluebells partying in a stand of trees photo By left-hand @ flickr

Red tree photo By code poet @ flickr

Trees reflected in the river photo by Denis Collette @ flickr

Sunrise in Corfu, Greece photo by Katarina 2353 @ flickr

Bent tree Bonsai Moon photo by h.koppdelaney @ flickr

Rolling hills and tree photo by Katarina 2353 @ flickr

Trees give support to the child’s swing photo by lepiaf.geo @ flickr

Sheltering tree photo in the shadows by Zest-pk @ flickr

Cypress tree at sunrise in the water photo by Bill Swindamon @ flickr

Suffer a bit of indignity tree photo by Scarleth White @ flickr

Filtering Illuminating light tree photo by *clairity* @ flickr

Strolling with the trees photo by Bjǿrn Giesenbauer @ flickr

Tree of Peace photo by h.koppdelaney @ flickr

Christmas tree photo by laffty4k @ flickr

Redwood trees in California photo by aigeanta @ flickr

Strong tree’s canopy photo By -= Bruce Berrien =- @ flickr

Black and white tree canopy photo by anonymous

Just Some Poetry.

Just Some Poetry.

by akeejaho @ HubPages

From Denny: I found this as a wonderful poem expressing a husband's love for his wife. The husband suffers from bipolar depression so he deeply understands how profoundly his wife's love affects him positively and appreciates her. (What every woman wants to hear!)

As a writing exercise this is a delightful take on how to write love poetry from a completely different angle without the usual greeting card mushiness.

Here's the comment I left for the author: "I'm always up for an unconventional take on love poetry and this little gem of a poem takes the prize. Awesome how you contrast inner and outer light, talking on two levels simultaneously, delivered with utter directness and simplicity, well done!"

Photo by AmahRa58 @ flickr

Can Science Rekindle Romantic Flames?

From Denny: This video is a bit amusingly light-hearted but also serious about the science. Forget about those relationship counselors; go pay a visit to your local scientist as they feel they have the best answer. New research about the brain discovers how to rekindle a stale relationship!

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