From Denny: Hey! It's Wednesday and you still need to finish out the work week with a laughing attitude that will dismay your boss, wilt your spouse with relief and annoy your teenage children. Take a look at this short list of posts on several of my blogs this week for your laugh of choice!
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Roundup of Late Night Funnies - 17 May 2010 - Chock full of funny video clips from Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert and Betty White on SNL as well as the late night show jokes and quips.
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From Denny: Tax season is so much fun, don't you think? One fact I've learned in developing a spiritual life is that when you are stressed: laugh. Laugh a lot and laugh often as a counter balance to whatever situation you are experiencing.
I sure hit the gold mine when I went looking for funnies about paying taxes to the government. The cartoonists have been busy too so I included lots of visual goodies to pair with the quotes for your entertainment. Enjoy!
*** Laugh at funny tax quotes and tax cartoons, find out about the Fair Tax idea versus how we collect our taxes now and look at a news clip that breaks down how our tax dollars are used by the federal government.
Funny Tax Quote
* Rich bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others. - Oscar Wilde
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From Denny: Check out these just wonderful science facts about pollen from Science Daily:
* Under human-induced climate change we expect higher wind speeds and more frequent storms will move pollen and seeds even farther from the source.
* The older a tree gets, the more pollen it produces each year.
* Long-distance dispersal of transgenic pine pollen is a potential problem only if that pollen is viable.
* Until then, the highest pine pollen had ever been found in the atmosphere was 1000 feet
* The odd thing is that pollen germination did not decline as distance increased ... You would expect germination to gradually drop off as pollen floats further away, but that's not the case.
* Pine pollen can travel up to 1800 miles in a short amount of time.
OK, everyone, do you get the idea that the plant world just might be mad at humanity and this is their revenge? As it was I ran across a study of growing hay fever plants in a carbon dioxide rich environment that caused the plants to produce 61% more pollen. Supposedly, we cannot blame the sooty air all on car emissions as apparently plants and trees make up 80% of the pollution.
So, this is what humanity can expect, just in time for the 2012 predictions of the end of the world as we know it: Climate change is causing faster winds and more storms to blow pollen our way from the ends of the earth that we have never experienced. Trees on this planet are arriving in old age so they are having a last fling at reproducing themselves with the ladies so they are sending out Viagra moments at an alarming rate. Pine pollen is like a blood hound; it likes to travel ridiculously long distances and arrive on your doorstep.
Quote
* I used to wake up at 4 A.M. and start sneezing, sometimes for five hours. I tried to find out what sort of allergy I had but finally came to the conclusion that it must be an allergy to consciousness. - James Thurber
*** For the full post with many more funny quotes, a funny allergy season customer service tech support joke and lots of entertaining photos - and your very own special link to a pollen count in your area - hike on over to The Social Poets and Cheeky Quote Day:
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* April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four. - Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson, 1894
* Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed. - Mark Twain
* A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool, usually has his suspicions. - Anonymous
* Politicians never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge. - Thomas Reed
* Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. - Chinese Proverb
* Don't approach a goat from the front, a horse from the back, or a fool from any side. - Jewish Proverb
Hike on over to The Social Poets to enjoy a funny video, funny photos, and - I totally guarantee you haven't seen this fashion outfit - it's the weirdest fashion statement yet. Not even Lady Gaga wore this crazy thing! :)
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From Denny: Catch up on posts at all of Denny's blogs. Lots of choices from news, political humor, political opinion, science news, poetry, motivational quotes and spiritual thoughts, great recipes and humor. And hey, if you would like to bookmark this on your fav social site, it sure would make my day! :)
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From Denny: Every Wednesday there is Cheeky Quote Day over at the flagship blog, The Social Poets, my funny quirky place that spun off 12 blogs. Here's a little sampling of what I found for Saint Patrick's Day, even some serious stuff - like the guy's real name.
Quotes
In order to find his equal, an Irishman is forced to talk to God. - Stephen Braveheart
An Irishman is never drunk as long as he can hold onto one blade of grass to keep from falling off the earth. - Irish Saying
Never iron a four-leaf clover, because you don't want to press your luck. - Anonymous
This is an excerpt from the history of the man and his experiences.
Snakes Legend
OK, moving right along to the snakes legend of driving them all out of Ireland for which he is so famous. The word is on that story that he stood on a hill and with his wooden staff like some Irish Moses he commanded the snakes to leave town and drown in the sea, banishing them forever from Ireland. It is true that Ireland has no snakes.
Another version of the legend is a bit cheeky as those storytellers like more conflict and spice to their stories. They tell it that the snakes resisted Patrick. So, Patrick tricked the snakes into entering a small box that he then threw into the garbage dump of the sea.
OK, but the snake symbolism still bothers you? Yeah, me too, so I looked into it further. Turns out in Celtic thought that snakes represent esoteric knowledge much like in the Egyptian culture. Because of this snakes were sacred to the Druids.
Snakes are also associated with the Celtic father god called The Dagda, "the good god" who is the god of good and plenty. It's what we now today call the spiritual energy of abundance. OK, that was the family friendly version. For more on this particular peculiar god, go here.
Of course, Guinness Beer has to get into the act with some cheeky ads:
*** To view the already popular full post, including a funny comedy video of a succession of stand-up comics telling Irish jokes, go here.
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*** Are you honoring yourself every moment of your life?
From Denny: Every Friday I put up an original poem for the Libations Friday segment over at my news, politics and poetry blog, The Social Poets. I also like to pair wonderful photography from my friends over at flickr with my poems. Discover someone new and enjoy their photos! Here is this week's offering:
Today was one of those triumphant days when a friend broke through into a new realization of where fear had taken her was a place she did not find comfortable. There comes a time in our spiritual development that we cannot return to the "tried and true" of third dimensional thinking and doing. We must finally stop, be still, patient, learn to wait and trust. When we do, life falls into place faster and into a better fit.
Often we are restless but cannot pinpoint as to why. We rush off to solve our immediate problems by creating still another. Usually, it's best to stop long enough to listen inside ourselves to learn where we belong at each moment of our life. When we do, we ease into a harmonious perfect rhythm that enriches us on so many levels. Take the time to honor yourself today and grow in your awareness.
Honoring Ourselves
Today I was faraway deep in thought, Tapping away the late winter sighs and Pondering the way of honoring ourselves, Gathering the movies of life in my mind.
I looked over my shoulder at the day that was And smiled to the moments of the hours That touched lightly in their passing each other, Stepping the path of the footprints left behind.
The natural rhythms of the day progressed, Cooking meals, cleaning dishes and laundry, Working at the office, returning to reunite, Unwinding into easy conversations enjoyed.
Pulling the warm covers over as we sleep, Cats crawling up to claim their blanket spot, We talk quietly aloud of our heart’s thoughts, Easing from the day into the calming night.
Sliding into rest, our eyes flutter and close, Our silent dreams liberated once again, Our tour guide clutches us tightly as we Journey on the wings of our thoughts.
The sights we see, all that’s imagined is true, Collecting thoughts, creating fresh reality, We spiral down through the dark to view, Awakening to our creation of the new day.
Denny Lyon Copyright 5 March 2010 All Rights Reserved
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From Denny: Here's a sampling of the funny quotes about the subject of sleep for you to get a chuckle of the moment. For the full huge post of funnies with great photos over at The Social Poets for Cheeky Quote Day, go here.
The best Life advice:
Think in the morning. Act in the noon. Eat in the evening. Sleep in the night. - William Blake
Never work just for money or for power. They won't save your soul or help you sleep at night. - Marian Wright Edelman
Better to sleep with a sober cannibal than a drunken Christian. - Herman Melville
Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone. - Anthony Burgess
From time immemorial artistic insights have been revealed to artists in their sleep and in dreams, so that at all times they ardently desired them. – Paracelsus
We are not hypocrites in our sleep. - William Hazlitt
Each day is a little life: every waking and rising a little birth, every fresh morning a little youth, every going to rest and sleep a little death. - Arthur Schopenhauer
There is only one thing people like that is good for them - a good night's sleep. - Edgar Watson Howe
*** For the full huge post of funnies with great photos over at The Social Poets for Cheeky Quote Day, go here.
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From Denny: Lots of funny cartoons this week by cartoonists using the Olympic theme as a metaphor for politics and more. Plenty of grins!
Unfortunately, on this blog's template these very wide cartoons don't display well, cutting off about 20% on the right - often where the joke line is depicted. Since you don't want to miss out on all the fun from the best of this week's political humor from some of the best cartoonists in the world, I'm providing a link to those blogs with wider templates to view these cartoons properly.
Yeah, I know, why don't I just shrink them? Can't. You aren't allowed to change the original embed code. One of these days these guys will realize they need to offer two sizes for bloggers. Until then you can enjoy them over at The Social Poets every Saturday! :) (I do keep a regular link on this blog over to The Social Poets in case you forget.)
*** THANKS for visiting, come back often, feel welcome to drop a comment or opinion, a huge shout out to awesome current subscribers - and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe!
*** Thought you might enjoy a teaser of Cheeky Quote Day! This is an excerpt from the full post over at The Social Poets:
Political Cats!From Denny: Some of the cheekiest - most irreverent or most odd - quotes were uttered in the year of 2009 in America. There are times when I wonder if there are regions of the country with lead in the water, sounding as bizarre as ancient Rome did right before they destroyed their empire. The ancient Romans poisoned themselves with lead in their wine, unknowingly, that also sterilized them, dropping the population of the ruling aristocracy. Their increasing bizarre behavior is well documented historically and, of course, Hollywood celebrated it with many a movie. After all, villains are great story grist! :)
I knew there was a verbal bridge somewhere in here... more like a teetering wood suspension bridge in the Amazon... 2009 has been a very bizarre year for quotes from politicians in particular and a few celebrities too. Notice that Tiger Woods is noticeably silent. Maybe he's saving his quotes for 2010. Stay tuned...
1. "Do ya think?" he's: Holding Back
"He deserves my silence."
— George W. Bush, former President, refusing to criticize President Barack Obama during a speech in March, his first address since leaving office. Yet the Republicans didn't waste any time later in the year, propelling Bush out in front to take the fire for complaining about Obama's job performance and handling of terrorism issues.
Hmmmm... yes, Obama still deserves his silence. The man was a hack in the Presidency so what real advice could he offer? The majority of the time he never watched nor read the news, depending upon filtered information from jealous coveting-the-power aides like Rove.
"The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama's 'death panel' so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their 'level of productivity in society,' whether they are worthy of health care."
— Sarah Palin, former Alaska governor, rambling all over the place on her Facebook page, whiner lying about a provision of the proposed health care bill that called for Medicare to reimburse doctors for counseling patients on end-of-life-care issues such as living wills and hospice availability. Somehow, she had reading comprehension problems and started screaming death panels are in the bill when clearly they are not.
3. Perilously Close on the Heels of Republican Retreads
"I'm happy to get good ideas from across the political spectrum, from Democrats and Republicans. What I won't do is return to the failed theories of the last eight years that got us into this fix in the first place, because those theories have been tested, and they have failed. And that's what part of the election in November was all about."
— President Obama, during his first official press conference, on 9 Feb 2009. What's annoying is when you follow such a disastrous act like Bush and Cheney who basically broke several world governments, is that you are forced to continue some of the same policies until you can stabilize a region, beginning new policies to repair all the damage.
So it goes in American politics for decades: Republicans like to blow up the world and Democrats come in behind them to clean up their mess. Then the public gets angry it takes too long to clean up the mess and choose Republicans again, thinking the economy will pick up. There is a real disconnect of the American voter with an understanding of just how long it takes to repair a mess and then gin up the economy.
4. The Commies Are Coming! The Commies Are Coming! Stay safe; hide under your school desk when the nukes hit. (Now there's a plan.)
"I don't want this country turning into Russia, turning into a socialized country. My question for you is, What are you going to do to restore this country back to what our founders created according to the Constitution?"
— Katy Abram, a Pennsylvania mother, speaking at a health care town hall moderated by Senator Arlen Specter in August in Lebanon, Pennsylvania. If this woman knew what she was talking about, understood economics, international diplomacy and common sense, and actually cared if women got equal pay for the same job, well, she would never have voted Republican in the first place. These guys are the ones who sent our country careening out of control financially for decades starting with President Reagan and his paranoid Star Wars concept.
*** For the full post and quotes 5 - 10: including Michael Jackson, Hillary Clinton, Berlusconi, David Letterman and con man Madoff, visit The Social Poets, go here.
From Denny: Here's a sampling of editorial cartoonists' opinions, love 'em or hate 'em, as to the news and the year and decade that was and what the New Year might bring us:
It's the big ugly fact that if government does not spend the economy will crash down upon our ears. As it is, the banks are still not lending much for car loans and demanding 20% down for houses, creating a shaky economy:
* Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to. - Bill Vaughan
* The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to. - P. J. O'Rourke
* An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves. - Bill Vaughan
* May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions! - Joey Adams
* New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot! Unless, of course, those tests come back positive. - Jay Leno
New Year's Poem
Happy New Year!!
A New Years toast to love and laughter
and happily ever after
A health to you, a wealth to you,
And the best that life can give to you.
Dance as if no one were watching,
Sing as if no one were listening and
Live every day as if it were your last. - Anonymous
Funny New Year's Resolutions
* But can one still make resolutions when one is over forty? I live according to twenty-year old habits. - Andre Gide
* Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each New Year find you a better man. - Benjamin Franklin
* Your Merry Christmas may depend on what others do for you. But your Happy New Year depends on what you do for others. - Anonymous
From Denny: Here's a sampling of what is happening over at The Social Poet this Saturday, enjoy! I just love editorial cartoons; they really capture the mood of the country. It's fun to look back over the year to see what was happening politically in a society as the cartoons often speak more truth than all the news articles which are often funded by some lobby. At the very least cartoons give us the public reactions to what our politicians are doing - or claim to be doing. :) Take a look:
Political Cats!
