From Denny: Couples all over America were shocked this week to learn of the surprise Gore breakup. It caused a lot of people to stop and consider their own relationships. With this chaotic economy there are a lot of people wondering if they would be happy if they broke up. It's best not to allow outside circumstances to influence how you feel about your partner. It's also wise to stop and examine yourself to see if your perception is influenced by unresolved issues from your past. After that, then consider if you and your partner are still right for each other.
No one ever expected the Gore marriage to break up after lasting 40 years but there it is. It took a lot of people by surprise. It's shocking. What happened? Well, the Gores are not talking details but there are a few factors to think about like her life long depression, their youngest child, a son, almost died and the strenuous life of politics that is no place for a gentle creative person like Tipper.
Most often when a child dies the marriage dissolves quickly into divorce as the divorce rate is high. As in the case of the John and Elizabeth Edwards messy marriage they did lose their oldest son. As in the case of a death of a child there is one spouse who blames the other and also cannot let go of their grief, driving away their spouse. The grief is so suffocating and the blaming and screaming so frequent and loud no one can live with that level of fury.
It's quite common with these stresses for one spouse to seek comfort elsewhere. At some point we all have to look at ourselves and use our wills to quit blaming the other person and learn to let go of our grief. Bitterness, blaming, slamming guilt at others does nothing to build or preserve a relationship. We must learn to forgive and love, really love - and love the people, the other children, who are still here with us.
The most surprising marriage is Bill and Hillary Clinton. If anyone had reason to blame and fury it's Hillary. Yet, she dug deep inside her spiritual self and found a way to forgive and still love. Granted, she isn't stupid and knows her husband's flaws. But, in the end, "ain't nobody who's perfect" and we learn to focus on their best attributes. Real unconditional love, not the constant high maintenance emotional dramas, is what nurtures a relationship into true happiness
Take a look at what a few cartoonists had to say, some introspective, some obviously do not like Al Gore. None of us will ever know what really went on between them as a marriage is private, even when one seeks publicity like Elizabeth Edwards. Notably absent is any comment from John Edwards. He takes a lot of slams in the press. For them, they need to quit with the War of the Roses (remember that movie?) and quit embarrassing their children publicly.
No matter what one spouse has done or not done all the situation ends up is as public bitter bickering. What is helpful about that? The Edwards could take a page out of the Gores playbook and use a lot more class about breaking up in a peaceful manner.
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