5 Funny Thanksgiving Quotes, Photos

Trash-talking turkeys just passing the time until someone took them seriously... Photo by stevevoght @ flickr from another of my funny posts: 21 Funny Thanksgiving Fighting Turkey Photos

From Denny: I found some hilarious Thanksgiving Day quotes along with a few smart jokes and LOL holiday poems for this week's Cheeky Quote Day over at The Social Poets blog. Click on the links below for the full post of funnies and the Obama Turkey Pardon Preparation Video. Here's a sampling taste to get you started on your holiday grinning, enjoy!

Quotes

* If you count all your assets, you always show a profit. ~ Robert Quillen

* Here I am 5 o'clock in the morning stuffing bread crumbs up a dead bird's butt. - Roseanne Barr

* It was dramatic to watch my grandmother decapitate a turkey with an ax the day before Thanksgiving. Nowadays the expense of hiring grandmothers for the ax work would probably qualify all turkeys so honored with 'gourmet' status. - Russell Baker

* Thanksgiving is America's national chow-down feast, the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty. ~ Michael Dresser

* I love Thanksgiving turkey. It's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts. ~ Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger

*** For more funny holiday quotes, holiday jokes and hilarious poems, the Obama funny video about his first act of turkey pardoning (wonder if it's name is Cheney???) and great holiday recipe links, check out The Social Poets and Cheeky Quote Day, go here.

*** Thanks for visiting and come back often for a grin! :)

Funny Editorial Cartoons 21 Nov 2009

From Denny: Every Saturday I round up the best editorial cartoons of the week. They sure do lampoon the latest news! This week women have been up in arms angry at new health care guidelines which sounded really lame. There is the controversy over bringing Gitmo terrorists onto American soil to hang 'em in the New York courts just blocks away from the still destroyed Twin Towers area. Comments about Prez Obama's trips to Japan and China, too much bowing and nice-nice for most cartoonists apparently. Plenty of cartoonists lampooning Congress about health care.

Be sure to check out the funny video of Comedy Central's Jon Stewart lampooning the Palin book tour and the GOP in general. There are real news headline links to check out about the book tour farce and how Palin has already stiffed her fans, leaving them hanging literally out in the cold for hours in the rain in Indiana. They were not happy campers at all. Well, that's what you get when your hero is a fantasy: reality face slaps.

So, hike on over to The Social Poets where I park those cartoons every week and enjoy yourself today! BTW, thanks, everyone for visiting. You have been coming by the thousands, quite the unexpected turnout for my comedy parties, thank you! I'll make sure I order more appetizers for my hungry hordes... :)

This Weeks Editorial Cartoons 21 Nov 2009

The Knot Prayer

Photo by Phil Romans

From Denny: This is a wonderful prayer, so true too. To truly develop in Life it sure helps to untie all those unnecessary inner knots! :) Self-improvement or spiritual development first starts with going after those inner knots often created thru bad experiences or social conditioning, even family culture. This wonderful prayer can be used as a thought meditation to help create your own positive affirmations. I found this on a buddha blog which found it on a Christian site from South Africa - which lets you know how universal this prayer can be.

The Knot Prayer

Dear God

Please untie the knots that are in my mind,
my heart and my life.
Remove the have nots,
the can nots and the do nots
that I have in my mind.
Erase the will nots,
may nots,
might nots that may find a home in my heart.
Release me from the could nots,
would nots
and should nots that obstruct my life.
And most of all,
Dear God,
I ask that you remove from my mind,
my heart and my life all of the "am nots"
that I have allowed to hold me back,
especially the thought that I am not good enough.

Amen

*** Thanks for visiting!

New Controversial Breast Cancer Guidelines Slapped By Backlash From American Women

From Denny: I've been waiting a few days for the furor to subside to see how this story shakes out. Basically, the medical community oversold the product: mammograms over the past couple of decades. Now women feel like they are getting short-changed being denied regular mammograms under the age of 50.

With all the health care cutbacks and denials by the insurance industry women are naturally suspicious. Perhaps there is something else to consider: what if mammograms too close together were a contributing factor to developing cancer? I doubt doctors would be willing to admit this fact if it proved to be true. So, what's the next best thing to do? Start weaning women off regular mammograms and up the age level for getting them in the first place. That strategy has backfired. Women are furious. Somehow, you just sense when an authority figure is not being forth-coming with you.

As to self-exams, it's just silly to tell women under age 50 not to do them. Catching a cyst of infection or a benign tumor can be caught this way; it isn't just cancer that can be detected.

What's even more annoying is that the panel who handed down these so-called guidelines from on high did not even include a breast surgeon or a cancer specialist. How irresponsible is that?! Not thorough either. If this panel was a book it would look like a book with misspellings and editing mistakes. Now who would buy that? My point, exactly. Who's going to buy these new recommendations about breast cancer detection? Not many, apparently.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

7 Funny Quotes About Reading Habits

Reading Upside Down Photo by garryknight @ flickr

From Denny: Today, and every Wednesday, is Cheeky Quote Day over at The Social Poets, one of my many blogs where I dance on the airwaves. Here's a sampling of what's going on today:

Quotes

* A classic is something that everybody wants to have read
and nobody wants to read. ~ Mark Twain ~

* Never lend books, for no one ever returns them;
the only books I have in my library are books
that other folks have left me. ~ Anatole France ~

* I read the newspaper avidly. It is my one form of continuous fiction. ~ Aneurin Bevan ~

* Where is human nature so weak as in the bookstore? ~ Henry Ward Beecher ~

* Outside a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside a dog, it's too dark to read.
~ Groucho Marx ~

* Books are the blessed chloroform of the mind. ~ Robert Chambers ~

* Never judge a book by its movie.
~ J. W. Eagan ~


*** To read a bonanza of funny quotes like this, hike on over to The Social Poets for Cheeky Quote Day to get some more grins, go here.

*** Thanks for visiting and come back often! :)

Catch Up on This Weeks 51 Posts At Dennys Blogs 17 Nov 2009

From Denny: After a year of blogging, I turned around and suddenly realized I've been producing a lot of content. Nor am I silly enough to think you check in every day with every blog. :) So, in case you missed anything this week, here's a menu of various posts all in one place for an easy read - and bookmark - so you can read when you feel like it:

From The Social Poets:

Roundup of Sunday Funnies 16 Nov 2009

Life Advice Poem by Rudyard Kipling

This Weeks Editorial Cartoons 14 Nov 2009

Reflections of That Moment - Libations Friday! 13 Nov 2009

5 Powerful Soul Affirmations, Soul Journey Poem

Funny Money Advice - Cheeky Quote Day! 11 Nov 2009

Musicians Are Territorial Animals, Funny Post by David Thomas

Roundup of Late Night Funnies, Cartoons 9 Nov 2009

From the funny posts at Dennys Funny Quotes and Ouch Outrageous Obnoxious And Odd:


From Dennys Funny Quotes:

Funny Secret to Longevity Photo and Story

10 Funny Love Quotes, Funny Cat Photo

Funny Money Advice, Cheeky Quote Day at The Social Poets

Video: Weirdest American Gluttony Foods

3 Paradoxically Funny Head Scratching Quotes

Awww, 7 Funny Dog Photos to Make You Laugh

What's stupidly popular at Dennys Funny Quotes these days:

42 Monday Morning Funny Coffee Quotes, Coffee Cartoon

25 Weird Coffee Trivia to Astound and Amuse You

10 Funny Work Quotes for Monday Morning

5 Monday Morning Posts to Get You Laughing!

From Ouch Outrageous Obnoxious And Odd:

9 Funny Socially Inappropriate Store Signs - what gets lost in translation from Chinese or Japanese into English, some really tacky ones!

Ouch! Best Love Story in Three Pictures: Prez Bush and Sec Condi Rice - a bit silly.

Outrageous Video: Overview of World Censorship on the Web - serious look at how content is heavily censored and in which countries, interesting overview.

First Lady Michelle Obama on Leno Show - how the Obamas don't take themselves too seriously.

Odd News Video: Liquor Warehouse Implodes in Russia

Weird News: Man in Breathalizer Costume Arrested by Police

10 Outrageous Glenn Beck Quotes That Prove Insanity

From the food blogs, Romancing The Chocolate and Comfort Food From Louisiana:

From Romancing The Chocolate:

Savory Chocolate Recipe: Mini Hamburger Sliders with Sauce

Chocolate Trivia from Horror Director Hitchcock

Video: Cool Food Gifts for the Holidays, Southern Sweet Chocolate Coconut Pie Recipe

3 Quick Awesome Chocolate Recipes for the Holidays

Chocolate Trivia - Who Are the Biggest Chocolate Gluttons on the Planet?

Warm Chocolate Pudding Cake

From Comfort Food From Louisiana:

Video and Recipes: Holiday Challah and Ciabatta Stuffings, Vegetarian and Sausage

Cajun Joke: Boat For Sale by Beaudreaux and Thibodeaux

Video and Recipes: 3 Fabulous New Orleans Sweets

Cajun Joke: Boudreaux and Thibodeaux Fix Destroyed New Orleans Levee

Video: Unbelievable, OK, Weird, Foods and Recipes

Cajun Joke: Boudreaux and Thibodeaux Play Golf

Video and Recipes: Lobster Grits Polenta, Turkey Andouille Sausage Grits Casserole

Coca-Cola Glazed Baby Back Ribs

From Beautiful Illustrated Quotations:

Life is a Gift!

Whats Your Attitude Toward Life?

Veterans Day Quote, Links to Memorial Poems, Peace Quotes

3 Wonderful Quotes About Joy

5 Powerful Soul Affirmations, Soul Journey Poem

How Do You Know If You Have a Weak Mind?

When Something Inside You Dies, Do You Know How to Renew Your Life?

Do You Sell Your Soul For Others Admiration?

From The Healing Waters:

Video: Tim McGraw Making a Difference

Video: Halle Berry Making a Difference for Battered Women

The Perfect Work Quote to Keep Your Head Straight on Monday Mornings

Video: Awareness, and Gibran Quote

*** Thanks for visiting and come back often! :)

Video: Tim McGraw Making a Difference

From Denny: It's celebrities like Tim McGraw and Faith Hill that make you smile with pride when they choose to share their wealth and get involved helping others. They are actively pursuing projects to help rebuild the Hurricane Katrina region that is still devastated five years after the storm hit.

He is from Louisiana and she is from Mississippi. It's a common love story here in the South known as "a Louisiana man and a Mississippi woman." And everyone looks at each other and grins knowingly...

The second video is a web exclusive and did not appear on TV.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Tim McGraw discusses his charity Neighbor's Keeper Fund which supports a variety of community charities, one right here in my home town of Baton Rouge, Louisiana for kids suffering from the trauma of the hurricane:

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

To read his blog: Tim McGraw: Every day you can make a difference

Link to Neighbors Keeper Fund, go here.

Video: Halle Berry Making a Difference for Battered Women

From Denny: If you missed this segment you will definitely want to watch it. Halle Berry grew up with an abusive father who battered her mother. Today, the actress is helping other women get strong, help heal them and their children and build new - and confident - lives.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Funny Money Advice, Cheeky Quote Day at The Social Poets

Money at hand by Don Hankin @ flickr

From Denny: It's Cheeky Quote Day over at The Social Poets where I stash a lot of humor as well. Actually, TSP was the blog that started it all with the funny quotes posts! Then the blog, Dennys Funny Quotes, spun off, guess it was a case of ROTFLOL...

As I researched just a few money quotes they struck me as, well, so odd they were funny. Guess I couldn’t help myself in the cheeky department, as an irreverent being and all. Then I ran across a cute quiz for odd words and phrases to entertain you too.

Here's a sampling of some of the oddest money advice quotes:

* Never invest in any idea you can't illustrate with a crayon. - Peter Lynch

* If the nation's economists were laid end to end, they would point in all directions. - Arthur H. Motley

* Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells. - J. Paul Getty

* The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket. - Frank Hubbard

* Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work. - Robert Orben

*** For the full post with more funnies and the quiz, Funny Money Advice - Cheeky Quote Day 11 Nov 2009, go here.

5 Powerful Soul Affirmations, Soul Journey Poem

Friendship Photo by h.koppdelaney @ flickr, a practicing Buddhist from Germany

5 Powerful Soul Affirmations, Soul Journey Poem

"Soul affirmations are a way to look at nourishing your patient ancient soul and convincing your ego to play nice, cooperate and learn to share with others while letting your soul out to play. It’s a way to blend the wise with the younger part of self still in the learning stage.

Our egos are trained and shaped and often defeated by the family and national culture into which we are born. Once we become adults it is up to us to parent those parts of ourselves that have been undernourished, neglected. Often we have been denied acceptance, understanding and love."

By Denny Lyon @ HubPages

From Denny: As we go into the holiday season and the cooling weather to prepare for winter when Nature sleeps and rests, our thoughts turn inward to reexamine our lives and meditate upon inner healing.

Though I choose to be a mystical Christian, this article can really apply to any religion or life philosophy based upon self-improvement so we can better understand the Life around us. There are wonderful art photos for the poem too, enjoy!

5 Powerful Soul Affirmations, Soul Journey Poem

Awww, 7 Funny Dog Photos to Make You Laugh

From Denny: 7 funny dog photos to amuse and delight! I've been collecting these for a while this past year. Like so many things floating around on the worldwide web, many are without proper attribution to the photographer. If you happen to know about any of these images, shoot me an email: Denny Lyon - warriorspearl @ gmail.com. Glad to hear from you, thanks!

Photo courtesy of byme249 @ StumbleUpon - he collects a lot of funnies; check him out!



Ouch! From the socially inappropriate, and ironically true...



Photo by ano-cha @ flickr of Cocoa the dachsund clowning around.



Sunning Lab mocks by sticking his tongue out at the photographer. No attribution available on this one, if you know, shoot me an email.



I'm crazy for ya, baby! by inga @ flickr



Oh, the art of hiding out with my pet dog who is clueless...



Jack Russell terriers sleeping with their pet cheetah on the master's bed in South Africa - this came from a story from a UK newspaper.



*** Thanks for visiting and come back often! Keep laughing!

Video: Awareness, and Gibran Quote

From Denny: This is an interesting mind-bending little video to get you thinking...

Quote

Imagination sees the complete reality, - it is where past, present and future meet...

Imagination is limited neither to the reality which is apparent - nor to one place.

It lives everywhere. It is at a centre and feels the vibrations
of all the circles within which east and west are virtually included.

Imagination is the life of mental freedom.

It realizes what everything is in its many aspects ...

Imagination does not uplift: we don't want to be uplifted,
we want to be more completely aware.

- Khalil Gibran



*** Special thanks to WideEyeWanderer @ StumbleUpon for posting this!

6 Ironic Grinners! Cheeky Quote Day at The Social Poets - 4 Nov 2009

Ironic funny quotes comin' at ya, hard and fast! :)

From Denny: Found a lot of witty quotes for the Cheeky Quote Day! segment over at The Social Poets today! They will definitely get you thinking while you are laughing, a real two-fer to keep the brain cells in stellar fitness shape. :)

Witty quotes also make great writing prompts as they expose your mind to thinking about a subject from a different angle. Construct your own writing exercises for your blog or journal. Riffing off of quotes really does a lot to improve your writing. Give it a try and see for yourself!



Here are a few funny quotes for your tasty mind candy today (while you are detoxing from your Halloween candy high):

Quotes

* All my best thoughts were stolen by the ancients. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

* Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. - Aldous Huxley

* The sinning is the best part of repentance. - Arab Proverb

* Do not do unto others as you would that they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same. - G.B. Shaw, "Maxims for Revolutionists," 1898

* It's pretty hard to be efficient without being obnoxious. - Kin Hubbard

* Is a stolen copyright a copywrong? – Anonymous

*** Thanks for visiting, much appreciated and come back often for a grin!

*** To get to Ironic Grinners - Cheeky Quote Day! 4 Nov 2009 - go here.

The Perfect Work Quote to Keep Your Head Straight on Monday Mornings

If there is anyone who truly knows how to live in the moment, it's a cat! Looks like my Hurricane Katrina kitty, Miss Pearl...

Quote

* Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. - Buddha

How Spiritual Healing Works Quote - All Souls Day

Quote

* Spiritual progress is like detoxification. Things have to come up in order to be released. Once we have asked to be healed, then our unhealed places are forced to the surface. - Marianne Williamson